I Can’t Keep

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I can’t keep seeking sanctum in stories that don’t exist.
I can’t keep trying to hold a hand when it’s curled in a first.
I can’t keep ignoring instincts to fire bolts of blame.
I can’t keep following the rules when I don’t know the game.

I can’t keep listening to the voices screeching in my head.
I can’t keep seeding thoughts and deeds that drive me back to bed.
I can’t keep justifying words that wound long after breath.
I can’t keep ignoring the urges whispering of death.

But if I keep holding onto the things that hold me back,
If I keep building foundations on all the things I lack,
If I keep believing the things I know not to be true,
Then I keep living a half life, and the winner is you.

 

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